Ladylike

Written by LW

Performing the act of eating on a date can be equally sexy and vulnerable. But mostly sexy, right?

We had decided to meet at Camden market, I saw her before she saw me, looking impossibly pretty standing on the bridge by the lock. We went on a walk along the canal before deciding 11.45am was surely lunchtime somewhere, and headed back to start the challenging task of choosing from one of the many vendors. Indonesian curry? Hot dog with an array of bouji toppings? Or perhaps some weiner schnitzel or calamari...?

This situation used to be my worst nightmare. I used to be the girl who was horrified by the thought of eating on a date; years of being plagued by eating disorders made the consumption of food feel like a shameful act of weakness, to be carried out in private if at all. So many people have this affliction to varying degrees; taking shy mouthfuls behind hands, ordering the salad when really they wanted the fish and chips. Years of societal pressures have ingrained in us that we should be demure, delicate, small. This is a huge shame, as the act of eating with someone should be enjoyable! Pleasurable. In fact, it can be sexy as hell.

There is a scene is Sex and the City, where Carrie is on a date with Jack Berger (the guy that dumped her on a post-it). They are sat in a restaurant eating cheese burgers and Carrie takes a huge bite, her mouth almost too full to chew properly, and put simply, looks really fucking cool. Fun, uninhibited, carefree - I remember thinking, ‘that’s the girl I want to be on a date’. To not be afraid of getting food around my mouth or lick off the sauce dripping down my arms. To get ice cream on the end of my nose and eat with my hands (where appropriate I mean, I’m not an animal). Food gives us the energy to have fun! To romp with friends and lovers, and actually engage with the world. Learning this lesson has served me well in so many ways beyond food. Back to the aforementioned date though... in the end, we opted on a paratha wrap that encased some very saucy and very messy curry. I grabbed extra napkins because the odds of one of us getting it down ourselves was high.

Naturally, it was me- the paper wrapping gave up and me and my jeans ended up covered in bright orange sauce. She immediately crouched down and wiped the sauce off my knee as I attempted to get it off my hands. This was date five by the way, on our first date, we had gone for dumplings and I put one in my mouth not knowing it was filled with soup... I’m sure you can picture the repercussions as the liquid squirted everywhere. Since it was a Monday lunch time, the only sensible thing to do next was to head to a bar for margaritas (seriously, Monday margaritas need to be a thing). By now, I can only assume I have established myself as the epitome of class and decorum. I am so much happier as this girl though, a person that doesn’t take themselves too seriously and actually enjoys life in all its messy, saucy, glory. Besides, she kissed me goodbye, so I can’t have done that badly.